My name is Emily. 
If I had to change my name, I would change it to my mother’s; Emilia. I only found out recently this was her name because she changed it to Goretta long before I was born. I’m assuming she did this to spite her own mother, who was named Emiljia. It’s Lithuanian. My older sister discovered this name change in her journey to gain Lithuanian citizenship. My mother named me after herself, sort of. I never liked being named Emily because my two older sisters have such beautiful, unique names. I assumed she put the least amount of thought into my name. I have not seen or spoken to my mother since I was 9 years old. She is bipolar. There is great trauma, deep in our bloodline. I do not blame her for how she is. Learning this has allowed me to feel more connected to her, from a distance. I plan on changing my name to Emilia when I get married. My partner and I also decided we will be taking my mother’s maiden name as our last name. What a glorious day that will be.